As many of you know it took me a long time to find a home here in Hawaii where I could root and do my divine life’s work in my own peaceful space without entanglements of others. When I finally did it was such a relief.  However, when I first moved into my current Ohana the wild wild west or what I call Mongoose Lane, lived behind me. It was a neighborhood known for its seediness and drugs. It was crazy energy…so much turmoil, fighting, police, unrest, garbage everywhere. And it wasn’t just the humans that were loud, the animal kingdom was speaking out too! Between the incessant barking dogs, especially Edgar who actually listened when I yelled at him to shut up, the confused roosters who thought it was morning every time a car drove by with its headlights at night, and the feral cats who apparently were getting it on alot more than me! The sounds they were making were so loud and disturbing that I yelled out to them one night, “Get a room!” And they stopped.  I couldn’t believe it.

Over the last two years I worked diligently at spiritually and physically transforming the vibration of that neighborhood. It is night and day now. I can feel comfortable walking Karma through the cleaned up streets. It is a peaceful and quiet, for the most part, family oriented neighborhood. Wherever I live I always bring my magic, improve the space I’m in and around me and create peace and harmony with my neighbors. That is really important to me. I am a peacemaker  at heart and ambassador for good will on earth.

Just when I was feeling accomplished a new neighbor moved in to the vacant Ohana 30 feet next to me. Noise travels here very easily and when you don’t have a wall, like I do, only a screen, you can hear every little thing. This supposed quiet girl with her service dog turned out to be anything but. When she talked on the phone I could actually hear the other person’s conversation. She was loud in everything she did, like simply closing or rather slamming the door. Maybe she was new to Hawaii? Didn’t understand how sound travels? Or just didn’t give a hoot. She seemed troubled with many issues.  I complained to the property manager (PM) multiple times about her noise level not knowing the worse storm that was about to hit my home.

She met someone. I heard every single painful phone conversation, which I thought were irritating, until he showed up in person-and practically moved in. In the end he did live with her. He was 100 times more a nightmare. He was young, reckless, obnoxious, drinker, most likely on drugs, erratic with a nasty vocabulary and didn’t care about noise or disturbing anyone else. They started their shenanigans around 10pm and continued all through the night. Then it got worse as he became angry. There would be fighting, yelling, screaming, cursing, banging, throwing things. He also had a Keiki, (kid) that would stay there time to time. He would yell and curse at his kid too. He cursed me out multiple times from across the way through the bushes. Threatening me, tormenting me for months. I called the police, made police reports, reported him multiple times to my property manager until finally she got a written letter with a 10 day warning of eviction.

She called and cried to the PM and asked for another chance. She said he was rude and had no regard for anyone else and she would never see him again. We decided to give her another chance. Well you know how that went. It was a total lie. A week later after the MOM (now I know where the loudness comes from) came to stay with her and do damage control, he came back. They did not miss a beat- back to partying and their rude and obnoxious shenanigans at all hours of the night.

It was worse, actually. He was worse. A new component entered the scene, his sickness- throwing up on the middle of the night, which woke me up, coughing all night long, watching TV loud during the day now.  He didn’t seem like he was employed at this point. Finally, thankfully she got a 45 day eviction notice. He didn’t like that one bit and called me the C word and cursed me out all night. I had to live with my guard up and many sleepless nights. It was torture since my peaceful sanctuary had been infiltrated and I was exhausted during the day and still had to work. I barely could do anything. I had no energy to do my yoga or go to the gym. They pretty much ruined my life for months. He spotted me one day as I was walking to my car and stared me down. It was unnerving.

I get that no one can be perfectly quiet all the time and if you’re young you want to party. But our units have quiet time between 9pm-6am. If you’re not a match for the rules in this community find another place to live. It’s really that simple. Oh and the other thing I’d like to add: Don’t be a dick.

I work from home. I an a spiritual author and energy healer online with my video channel and in person. You can imagine how tough it was for me to do my work. Even so I managed to publish my fourth book, The Beloved, an ebook on Amazon. I had to keep reaffirming to myself that no matter what, I would not let anyone, anything, or any darkness steal my light or rob me of my joy. After all I made my dream life come true. I was living my dream in Hawaii and I didn’t want one day to go by that I wasn’t grateful and feeling good about that.

Even so, it’s so hard to stay positive when you are fighting exhaustion and complete infiltration of your home space. Not to mention I was having my own personal health challenges: two car accidents this year and major gum and teeth pain/work all year! I needed healing and rest, and a good nights sleep.

My daughter slept over one night and was witness to what I had to tolerate for months. They woke us both up in the middle of the night with their usual fighting and crazy loud behavior. She told me to call the police because it went to hitting. I told her I tried that already but the police don’t do anything, that this was their normal routine and don’t worry they will be laughing in the morning. She said she was surprised I didn’t yell at them and get angry. (She knows I have an Italian temper!) Trust me it took everything I had within to not react in this way. Common sense took a hold of me the first night he cursed me out at 3am. I was about to go HELLFire on him and then remembered I am a single girl living alone and this crazy guy who is probably high on drugs, knows where I live, and who knows what he is capable of doing. That would only make it worse. So I stayed silent. I left it up to the PM.

I was silent but still took action. I did everything I could spiritually and physically. I rearranged my entire Ohana, moved my bed away from the screen and closed the curtains even though it restricted air flow, put the fans on high, bought an extra noisy fan, took sleeping aids, wore ear plugs, kept soft music playing…you name it I tried it. I meditated, prayed, did reiki on them, saged, cleared the space, prayed some more. I prayed a lot for a miracle and solution to my tormented life.

Finally it came. My good friend asked me to come to her special unity event. It was her “coming out” as her alter ego. I have become somewhat of a recluse since I moved to Hawaii but I knew how important this was to her so I showed up. As soon as I arrived, my other neighbor, who knew everything that was happening, told me the guy was there and not to look but he was standing behind me talking about me and giving me dirty looks. I turned around slowly to get a look at my tormenters face since I had yet to see it. There he was!  A young man, brooding, ominous, giving me the death stare. My neighbor said she would walk me to my car to make sure I got safely home. I thought about it for a second, and for a second I felt fearful but immediately said NO.

“I am going to stay. I am not afraid of him.” I told her.

I thought I would stay for an hour for my friend then leave to avoid any confrontations. I ended up staying for four hours, enjoying the entire show, holding the light.  I decided I would stand in my power and truth and was not going to let some punk kid ruin my night. What was interesting was that so many people I knew came up to me and I ended up doing some spiritual counseling. That actually was a blessing for it helped me to stay in my light and power. I didn’t say one thing to any of my friends about this guy or what I was going through. This was his place of employment and out of respect for him I didn’t want to put any negative energy out there. Even the owner came up to me, gave me a hug and we talked. I kept silent about my tormenter. I just held the light.

After a while between the good vibes of the unity event and me sticking to staying in love, I started letting the animosity in my heart for him go. I only felt peace. He was all around the event as he was a busboy and It was small venue so he could see me the whole time. I could feel his staring at me at times and I tried to avoid looking for him. By the end of the night he was walking closer to me. Finally at the end of the show which really did raise the vibrations of the space, he walked right by me. By then I was radiating in a high frequency, having fun and dancing. He turned to look at me. I looked him in the eyes and with a genuine smile radiating kindness and love, said hello. He smiled back at me with a big genuine smile and said hello. I saw his light and in that moment I felt him shift. It was a tiny miracle:)

The feeling of satisfaction and relief about what had transpired had my soul riding high the next couple of days. That night I told my neighbor, the one who was worried for my safety, what had happened. She was shocked. I told her “I can’t be hating at a unity event!” If it’s one thing I’ve learned over and over again is authenticity. If I say I AM a spiritual teacher, a channel of unfiltered light, then I better BE it, no matter how hard the outer circumstances are.

Over the next few days he was different. I could feel his energy. He was quiet, being considerate and on the phone looking for place to live for him and his girl. I could tell he was really trying. That didn’t last long, however. They started in with their fighting; this time it was more her than him, yelling at him that he didn’t have a place to live, no car and no job. I actually felt bad for him.

Five days later he was dead. I heard the whole thing. She woke me up at 5am with a very loud phone call. It was 911. He wasn’t breathing. I witnessed the entire exchange, her frantic begging for them to hurry up because he was turning blue. I found out his name, DOB. I could hear everything. He didn’t make it. From what I heard it could have been an overdose or fentanyl laced into his smokes. I don’t know for sure.

The next day she moved out. I had my peace again.

I prayed for a miracle. This was not the way I was expecting it to go down. It felt more like a tragedy and a waste of life, yet my faith knew deep down and higher up there was grace in it. Regardless, I felt really sad for the young man. I was rooting for him after seeing his light and our energy exchange that night. I really wanted him to do good. I prayed for his soul to be at peace and talked to him that night. I felt his presence, his confusion. I reassured him that he was safe now and he would continue on to something more beautiful and better. I hope he heard me.

Things are always changing. We cannot stop that from happening. The cycle of life and death, rebirth-that is the very nature of life. And yes tough times are all around us. Individually and collectively we are metamorphosing into something greater. And metamorphosis can be very painful, indeed. Just when the caterpillar thought its life was over it became a beautiful butterfly. No matter what kind of crappy day you might have, or tough time you might be going through, the world still turns, the sun still comes up in the morning, and birds continue to sing.

And we must continue to do the inner work, of keeping our vibration and frequency high. And remember we are not alone. Not only are our human friends with us but our spirit friends on high have our back. The universe is a benevolent place. That is the nature of the universe: it is love, and It knows who you are personally.

Whatever you are facing in this now moment in your life I wish you comfort, peace and perseverance, ease and grace. Don’t give up. The light is always more powerful than the dark. And you are that light. You are that powerful. Aho.

The only way out is in. Go within and find your true light, your warrior spirit and your true divine power. You got this!

Aloha blessings of the most holy and high,
Soulfire

“The holiest place on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.” ~ CIM

Does “happily ever after” exist? After this last go about I don’t believe it does. I think it’s a detrimental societal program that keeps us in an eternal disenchanting search for happiness outside of ourselves. I lost my fairy-tale virginity this year and finally grew up. Don’t feel sad for me, really, rejoice, it’s a good day! That “always looking for the ONE” to make you happy is a serious Debbie downer and keeps you in the mind loop of unending dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. The true love that you, we, are all in search of is within us- it is us. We are the LOVE we’ve been looking for. And deep down we all know that to be true.

Until we find that love, the Beloved within, we will never be satisfied or content with another; because ultimately it’s not about the “other,” it’s always about us. Our level of happiness is dependent on how happy we have become within ourselves. We cannot ever source our happiness from another. It will only leave us disappointed and blaming the other for all our problems.

I have learned a lot about myself from my past relationships. If you read my memoir, Fearless Freedom Becoming SoulFire, you know of the heartbreaking painful experiences I have had. However, that one little mantra:  “Get better, not bitter,” was my saving grace. Even though in the “societal sense” the relationship didn’t last or failed, what I took from each one helped me heal a broken fragmented part of me and regain my wholeness.

By giving up the fairy-tale of happily ever after I’m much more at peace. I can relax and actually start to enjoy myself. I know my whole divine purpose in this incarnation is to evolve within my own inner being to my highest divine essence and in turn share my life with humanity for healing and awakening. My incarnation isn’t about relationships and family, and that’s ok. That’s not to say I’m not open to meeting and having relationships, but I am not fixated on the ONE anymore.

That only took me 52 years to come to this insight. I’m a late bloomer, what can I say!

This last soulmate/twin flame relationship I had here in Hawaii was the catalyst in my latest and greatest rebirth. He was the main player in my new found understanding of BEING the LOVE I am looking for. It is not easy to let someone go that you love and care about very deeply. It is excruciating to be honest; it’s like tearing off one of your limbs slowly and a detoxing of the heart at the same time.  Now I know what the line from the poem, The Invitation, means: “Can you betray another to be true to yourself?” It’s just as brutal to the heart as being the one being left behind.

However, my higher self knew deep down that I had to, for my soul’s survival. At this moment in time we are not a vibrational match anymore and it was hindering my spiritual progress, evolution and whole point of existence- kind of a big deal. That is not to say in the future we can’t be reunited, but it all depends on our journeys and if we are in alignment vibrationally. Not all soulmates are meant to last forever. The good thing is that we were reunited in this lifetime and had a beautiful and bountiful experience together. Even with the heartbreak of the separation now,I would not have done anything differently. I also have to be conscious that not everyone is on the fast track to spiritual enlightenment like I am, and to honor each person’s journey. I cannot force or rob another of theirs.

So alone again, naturally, but it’s okay. I’m gradually getting better, not bitter and my heart is slowly mending again.  I’m inspired to complete Sunflower Two with the main theme of what I have learned from this last soulmate relationship:What does it mean to be your own Beloved?

I have so much to share with you since the publishing of Fearless Freedom, which feels like a lifetime ago. Moving to Hawaii has been a bumpy, roller coaster ride, but worth every second. Growing is not easy, I guess that’s where the term: “growing pains” comes from.

I am excited to share my next becoming with you from the sacred land of Lemuria. Look for Sunflower Two this year 2021!

Blessings of the most high!

A hui a hou!

Soulfire

Yes, you are human, but the human part of you is only a fraction of the largest part of you, which is non physical divine energy-consciousness itself.  And no this is not some ego trip, it’s actually the opposite. When you know who you are, that you are God in human disguise and you are not your ego mind, rather you have an ego mind, your life begins to shift from struggle and suffering to liberation and joy.

How do you come to know this? This is what I share with you in Living Light.

I have had multiple experiences of instant healing. One that stands out for me happened here in Hawaii last year. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick to my stomach. At first I thought it was all the skinny pop I binged on, but then I started shaking and getting really hot with fever. My landlords who lived upstairs both recently had bad flu, so I worried at first I caught something from them.

Then I quickly caught that thought and countered it with, No, I don’t get sick. However, I was getting worse so I crawled out of bed to the bathroom and hung over the toilet in complete nausea, feeling scared since it came on so fast and out of the blue.

I started praying to Archangel Rafael, one of my guardian angels who is the angel of divine healing. This usually works, but not that night.  I collapsed into childs pose on the cold floor next to the toilet and thought, I need to bring this up a notch. I chanted over and over again: I am God, I don’t get sick; I am God, sickness doesn’t live in my body; I am God, I am perfect health, light and divinity; I am perfect health, I am perfect health, I am perfect health; I am God I am God I am God; I am the light, I am the light, I am the light.

I didn’t just chant this but I put every once of my belief into these affirmations. God is only love, goodness and joy. So if I am God, then germs, viruses, illness and disease which have frequency of 100 Hz or so can’t live in my physical vessel.  Everything is energy and vibration.

I fell asleep in childs pose, not sure for how long, maybe 20 minutes. When I woke up I was 100% better. I felt no sickness at all. I got up, went back to bed and woke up in the morning feeling fabulous.

I share these experiences plus more on Living Light. I share practical and spiritual ways you can heal, awaken, grow, evolve and ascend into your light body.

This is not a miracle, this is simply evolving in your consciousness to understanding who you really are. That is all of our journeys.  This is why we are here in the Age of Light – the Age of Awakening, the Ascension has already begun beloveds.

Living Light will be public on the 22nd. I will send another email with the link to check it out.

Blessings of the most high!

A hui a hou. Until our hearts meet again.

Love, Soulfire

It must be working because this morning when I woke up I felt something stirring inside of me that actually felt light and free. I decided to roll with the mantra, “Something good is going to happen today.”

I sat down to do my morning meditation and within two minutes I heard my inner voice tell me to ride my bike to the pier and go for a swim. The last couple of weeks I have not been getting out as much as I’m used to because Karma, my four legged best friend, has not been feeling well.

I listened to my inner voice though, put on my bikini, kissed Karma good-bye and off I went on my bike. When I arrived at the pier, a local homeless man came up to me and told me there were dolphins close. I was so excited. I told him I had a feeling that something good was going to happen. We walked to the end of the pier together and I saw them. There was another man  looking earnestly at the dolphins, I asked him if he was going in. He replied, “I would but how do you get out?” I didn’t care about getting out, the only thing I cared about was getting in!  So I jumped. Usually I go into the ocean by the beach and swim out, but today I wanted to be with the dolphins so bad that I just  jumped off the end of the pier and went after them.

They were many of them swimming around and about a dozen people. No one seemed as excited as me however, which I thought was uncanny. I was laughing out loud for joy every time one of them jumped out and spun around. It was like they were putting on a show for us.

After about twenty minutes they disappeared and everyone left, except me. I floated on my back for a couple of minutes then went under water and said, “Come back, come back, I love you.”  Within minutes they were back- an entire pod swam right toward me. As much as I love dolphins and the ocean, there’s a vulnerability about being alone floating in the middle of the ocean with an entire pack of mammals beelining it toward you. It can be a little unnerving at first.

I assured myself I was safe and went under water. It was surreal watching them just floating through the water effortlessly in a pack with the babies too. They swam under me and around me a few times then came up. The playful one of the bunch did his jumping for joy show for me. i laughed out loud like a little kid. It was magical.

When they swam under me I floated on my stomach and just watched them, then without warning I started sobbing. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that. It wasn’t a sad sob, more of a deep appreciation for everything- for the dolphins, for Gaia, God, the universe, the ocean, my life, everything. Words don’t do it justice. There was such a connection I felt oneness with everything in that moment.

This was one of the many dolphin stories I have experienced since I moved to Hawaii. I actually have dolphin stories from Long Island too when I came home over the summer last year that blew my mind.

What I’ve observed, is that they show up for me out of the blue when I’m in my highest joy and vibration, which makes sense. We attract what we put out. Dolphin message is all about fun, play and community. You rarely see a dolphin traveling alone.

I wanted to share this with you because all that is happening in the world can be scary and confusing. These are uncertain times for all of us. The dolphins message for me was don’t forget to jump for joy. it is still posable to have joy and feel joy even with what’s happening around us. It’s the only thing that matters, otherwise what’s the point of life?

I hope you can feel the dolphin playful energy through my communication. Be happy, find your bliss, go for your joy and when you falter, remember the spinning jumping joyful dolphins.

With love, Soulfire