I had a rough day Saturday, October 4th. Another episode with my loud mentally imbalanced neighbor upstairs erupted. It’s been a challenge to live where I am with his energy. Not to get into all the details of it, the blow to my nervous system came when he stomped down the stairs, walked to my door and started pounding on it. I was the only one home with him at the time in the building. I sat in my bathroom, cowering down, mindful not to make a sound so he would not hear me and waited til his heavy panting breath stopped and went away. Shortly after I left to escape his aggressive imbalanced energy. 

This man has bullied me over the last few months and unfortunately the property manage does nothing to protect me, instead he protects the man. I am done with this paradigm and reality of being around broken men that gaslight and project their unhealed traumas and imbalances on to me. It is sad to see a man, not being a man, but living in his lower chakras of sex and lower consciousness- almost caveman like mentality. This is rampant here on the Big Island, which makes sense given the history of the people and this island representing the root chakra. 

So in my wobbly shaken state I went out to do errands but was feeling very shaken in my body and mind. I decided first thing to do is print out a spiritual workbook that I have been meaning to print. I went to Office Max but for some reason, now I know why, I couldn’t use the self serve because it kept telling me invalid email address. (which was wrong). Being “awake in the dream,” I know now that obstacles happen for a reason and it pointed me to wait on a very long line at the full service counter. (which of course my ego didn’t like) 

While waiting on line I struck a conversation with the woman in front of me who was also waiting for some time. She told me she was printing out cards for the urchin jewelry she just made. Instantly, as the sea maiden, she got my attention. I asked her what it was specifically. Then I turned to my right and saw the Office Max computer with the picture of the print. It was a beautiful purple helmet urchin that I had always seen here in Hawaii but never really knew much about. I felt so much energy from the image in that moment.

I asked her what the spiritual meaning of that particular urchin was. She wasn’t sure, but she handed me the card. After I read it I knew this totem came to me specifically at this now moment in time to tell me I am protected, and I am safe.

Here is the meaning: 

The helmet urchin carries several spiritual and practical meanings for Native Hawaiians:

• Resilience and grounding: The helmet urchin lives in the turbulent intertidal zone, where it is constantly pounded by waves. Its unique, shingle-like armor allows it to remain securely attached to the rocks. This serves as a powerful metaphor for staying grounded and holding firm in the face of life’s challenges.
• Resourcefulness and observation: An old Hawaiian proverb, “Pala ka hala, momona ka hāʻukeʻuke” (“When the hala ripens, the hāʻukeʻuke is fat”), was a seasonal indicator for fishermen. The synchrony between the ripening hala fruit and the plumpness of the urchin’s roe taught Hawaiians to observe the cycles of nature to determine the best time to gather resources.
• Protection and adaptability: Unlike other spiky urchins, the helmet urchin’s flattened spines create a smooth, armored dome, an adaptation for its high-impact environment. This illustrates the principle of adapting one’s protective mechanisms to suit the circumstances, learning when a hard shell is needed and when other defenses are appropriate.
• Wisdom from nature: In ancient Hawaiʻi, sea urchin parts, including the teeth of the hāʻukeʻuke, were used for medicine by the kupuna (elders). This highlights the traditional wisdom and deep knowledge of the natural world, which was viewed as a source of healing and sustenance.
• Divine connection: More generally, sea urchins (wana, ʻina, hāwae, hāʻukeʻuke) were an important food source and are considered among the forms of ʻaumakua (family or personal gods) in certain areas, connecting them to ancestral spirits.

That evening I went to the shore to meditate with sunset. I still was shaken from the event from the day. I talked to God, Pele and the ocean. Then I noticed in front of me hundreds of helmet urchins. I started crying in joy and amazement because they were right there the whole time. I thanked them for their presence and energy and knew that by the sea is where I am meant to live next. It is my ultimate heart dream to live on the other side of Ali’i Drive. The ocean is my home. It is where I feel my happiest-and the most at peace and safe. The ocean is my heart and I need to live and have my new sanctuary next to it. I know this to be true.

So now I am consciously calling in my highest timeline. I need a miracle but what say you is a miracle? For you are a miracle. I am a miracle, and miracles are our birthright. Aho.

I intended to end this blog here but I had to share what happened when I stopped working and went to the ocean for a swim- the dolphins!!! I had them for nearly an hour! They were jumping and playing and circling around me. They came in so close to shore then swam out and back. It was a whole show! Karma was with me too in a big way in the ocean. I laughed and cried, diving underwater to receive and absorb their sounds and communication. It was so healing. I know the message was to celebrate because I just transmuted another layer of old energy that is still alive here on the planet. I found another layer of resiliency and deep faith and knowing, that I am my own home and no one can harm me. I am always protected and connected. 

After the dolphin adventure, I walked back to the shoreline where I did my meditation with the helmet urchins. I gave thanks, sang a song and then the dolphins jumped again and again. I laughed out loud, gave more thanks and then the Honu came to me- a big one, she popped her head up and said “Hi!” What an incredible morning. Oh and I forgot to mention the huge dragon fly that flew by me on the beach and went into the ocean…first time seeing a dragon fly at Magics Beach.

What a magical day of connection. I didn’t even share the humans I “bumped” into in the ocean and the messages they had for me. This blog would have been too long. I received so much confirmation that it is my time to move on. My soul needs to feel safe where I live and work. Now for the miracle. To be continued…

As a sensitive soul who feels everything so deeply, an empath times 100, and a spiritual teacher, it is a challenge to live in this world today.  I know I must hold the light energy and be the change for higher unity consciousness and a new earth. With that said I also choose not to put my head in the sand and ignore what’s going in the world. I choose to be informed but not dwell on what’s happening in 3D.  I personally think spiritually bypassing the current events is not a wise move because until we have ascended into 5D we are still part of this society and live here in 3D. Nonetheless, it is a fine balance especially when you are an emotional person, Pisces sun/Scorpio moon. (This is the part when people that understand astrology suck their teeth and give me the oh man look) I get angry, I get enraged, I get sad, my heart breaks and so on…just like everyone else.  We are in a battle for our souls right now on planet earth— for our innate freedom and sovereignty. It’s kind of a big deal don’t ya think?!

If I let it, it can bring me down into depression for days….so I don’t. I have to be strong, be a warrior. I ignite the fire in my soul and decide to do what I can to make a difference in my corner of the universe….which is to be of service when I can, to help when I can…without compromising my healthy boundaries. Me first, is what I have come to learn on my spiritual journey of healing. Teach myself, then teach the world. Each of us matters just as much as anyone else. It is not more “holy” or “spiritual” to be a martyr and sacrifice your own well being for another. That is the old way of living/belief that no longer serves higher unity consciousness. 

With that said the other day I was driving down Alli Drive around 3pm, the hottest time of the day in the middle of vog from the volcano erupting. I passed by a young man that lives on the street who has a sweet spot in my heart. He waved to me and I waved back. If you live in Kona you probably know this young man (I will keep his name private anyway) He collects the bottles and recyclables on his skateboard. On this day I noticed he had an unusual amount of black garbage bags filled to the brim that he was struggling to skate with. As I continued to drive I said a prayer for him. I asked God to send an angel to his side to be of assistance. God replied, “Why don’t you?” Good point God (Duh). I immediately did a U turn and drove back. 

“Do you need help?’ I asked him pulling over off the busy road. “Yes,” he replied, “I am trying to get to the recycling place before it closes at 4pm.” It was already 3, so we loaded his four huge garbage bags into my van. I had to shut off my germ a phobic mind thoughts and repeat internally, it’s going to be ok over and over as the bottles fell out of the garbage bags in to my always clean van. Luckily we had extra cardboard to put down to protect the interior and he also offered air freshener (so thoughtful).

Now I had a good 10 minutes with this young man so I was excited, After a couple of formalities I got straight to “the question” (New Yorker though and through) “So what is your deal?” 

He opened up and told me his story, which broke my heart and took everything in my power to not get emotional and cry which I’m doing now by the way as I write this piece (that is why writing is so powerful, it helps to process emotions that otherwise can get stuck in your body). His story I will also keep private, but man, it is a heavy heartbreaker.

I dropped him off on time and told him if he needed anything I was here for him (wanting to do more of course, to give him a home). The amount of trauma and tragedy that people on this island have suffered is beyond. With that said, the amount of kindness, humbleness and aloha that people here have and are is beyond as well. I try to keep that in mind as I go about my day, thinking I have stress or get in a rush. 

I pray for all. I pray that no one is forgotten. May all beings everywhere be free from suffering.  And may there be angels and aloha by their side at all times. Amen.