Four months after Karma passed I decided to be brave since I had a dear friend with me  and asked him to take me to a beach up north that was me and Karma’s favorite spot. We would always stop on the way at this outdoor mall where she would pee, then I went into food store and bought sushi and treats for us to share at Beach 69. She loved going there. It was one of our favorite beaches and adventure days. I loved sharing it with Karma. I hadn’t been back since she passed.

When I got out of his car I felt a sudden wave of grief come over me and just stood frozen in the middle of the parking lot sobbing. He took my hand and led me gently into the food store so we could continue on with our day. I was too heart broken to think about food so I just grabbed a random salad.  I asked the cashier for more salad dressing and she told me to go the the deli and ask but it’s an extra charge. With tears in my eyes still I went over and tapped a woman worker on the back. She turned around and hurriedly moved me back telling me I couldn’t be there. (I had walked behind the deli counter by accident). She asked me what I needed and I told her, salad dressing with the saddest face she had probably ever seen. She brought me the salad dressing, no extra charge. Then I looked at her name tag and guess what it said? DAISY! I couldn’t believe it. I mean, you can’t make this up! I was so happy. My heart leapt for joy. I asked her if I could give her a hug. and she said yes. She probably thought I was happy she gave me free salad dressing—Ha ha ha. This little angel had no idea how much she meant to me at that moment. 

These signs from Karma kept coming…too many to blog about. But I know that if my furry four legged bestest friend can still be with me, then whoever you have “lost” and love deeply is still with you. In the midst of these intense emotions I remind myself to breathe. Breath has been my saving grace. It leaves room for the Holy Spirit to come in and do her work. After all, if I am going to say I am a spiritual teacher then I have to walk my talk. 

“Your body is away from me, but there is a window open from my heart to yours.” ~ Rumi

I love you Karma.

Does “happily ever after” exist? After this last go about I don’t believe it does. I think it’s a detrimental societal program that keeps us in an eternal disenchanting search for happiness outside of ourselves. I lost my fairy-tale virginity this year and finally grew up. Don’t feel sad for me, really, rejoice, it’s a good day! That “always looking for the ONE” to make you happy is a serious Debbie downer and keeps you in the mind loop of unending dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. The true love that you, we, are all in search of is within us- it is us. We are the LOVE we’ve been looking for. And deep down we all know that to be true.

Until we find that love, the Beloved within, we will never be satisfied or content with another; because ultimately it’s not about the “other,” it’s always about us. Our level of happiness is dependent on how happy we have become within ourselves. We cannot ever source our happiness from another. It will only leave us disappointed and blaming the other for all our problems.

I have learned a lot about myself from my past relationships. If you read my memoir, Fearless Freedom Becoming SoulFire, you know of the heartbreaking painful experiences I have had. However, that one little mantra:  “Get better, not bitter,” was my saving grace. Even though in the “societal sense” the relationship didn’t last or failed, what I took from each one helped me heal a broken fragmented part of me and regain my wholeness.

By giving up the fairy-tale of happily ever after I’m much more at peace. I can relax and actually start to enjoy myself. I know my whole divine purpose in this incarnation is to evolve within my own inner being to my highest divine essence and in turn share my life with humanity for healing and awakening. My incarnation isn’t about relationships and family, and that’s ok. That’s not to say I’m not open to meeting and having relationships, but I am not fixated on the ONE anymore.

That only took me 52 years to come to this insight. I’m a late bloomer, what can I say!

This last soulmate/twin flame relationship I had here in Hawaii was the catalyst in my latest and greatest rebirth. He was the main player in my new found understanding of BEING the LOVE I am looking for. It is not easy to let someone go that you love and care about very deeply. It is excruciating to be honest; it’s like tearing off one of your limbs slowly and a detoxing of the heart at the same time.  Now I know what the line from the poem, The Invitation, means: “Can you betray another to be true to yourself?” It’s just as brutal to the heart as being the one being left behind.

However, my higher self knew deep down that I had to, for my soul’s survival. At this moment in time we are not a vibrational match anymore and it was hindering my spiritual progress, evolution and whole point of existence- kind of a big deal. That is not to say in the future we can’t be reunited, but it all depends on our journeys and if we are in alignment vibrationally. Not all soulmates are meant to last forever. The good thing is that we were reunited in this lifetime and had a beautiful and bountiful experience together. Even with the heartbreak of the separation now,I would not have done anything differently. I also have to be conscious that not everyone is on the fast track to spiritual enlightenment like I am, and to honor each person’s journey. I cannot force or rob another of theirs.

So alone again, naturally, but it’s okay. I’m gradually getting better, not bitter and my heart is slowly mending again.  I’m inspired to complete Sunflower Two with the main theme of what I have learned from this last soulmate relationship:What does it mean to be your own Beloved?

I have so much to share with you since the publishing of Fearless Freedom, which feels like a lifetime ago. Moving to Hawaii has been a bumpy, roller coaster ride, but worth every second. Growing is not easy, I guess that’s where the term: “growing pains” comes from.

I am excited to share my next becoming with you from the sacred land of Lemuria. Look for Sunflower Two this year 2021!

Blessings of the most high!

A hui a hou!

Soulfire

Yes, you are human, but the human part of you is only a fraction of the largest part of you, which is non physical divine energy-consciousness itself.  And no this is not some ego trip, it’s actually the opposite. When you know who you are, that you are God in human disguise and you are not your ego mind, rather you have an ego mind, your life begins to shift from struggle and suffering to liberation and joy.

How do you come to know this? This is what I share with you in Living Light.

I have had multiple experiences of instant healing. One that stands out for me happened here in Hawaii last year. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick to my stomach. At first I thought it was all the skinny pop I binged on, but then I started shaking and getting really hot with fever. My landlords who lived upstairs both recently had bad flu, so I worried at first I caught something from them.

Then I quickly caught that thought and countered it with, No, I don’t get sick. However, I was getting worse so I crawled out of bed to the bathroom and hung over the toilet in complete nausea, feeling scared since it came on so fast and out of the blue.

I started praying to Archangel Rafael, one of my guardian angels who is the angel of divine healing. This usually works, but not that night.  I collapsed into childs pose on the cold floor next to the toilet and thought, I need to bring this up a notch. I chanted over and over again: I am God, I don’t get sick; I am God, sickness doesn’t live in my body; I am God, I am perfect health, light and divinity; I am perfect health, I am perfect health, I am perfect health; I am God I am God I am God; I am the light, I am the light, I am the light.

I didn’t just chant this but I put every once of my belief into these affirmations. God is only love, goodness and joy. So if I am God, then germs, viruses, illness and disease which have frequency of 100 Hz or so can’t live in my physical vessel.  Everything is energy and vibration.

I fell asleep in childs pose, not sure for how long, maybe 20 minutes. When I woke up I was 100% better. I felt no sickness at all. I got up, went back to bed and woke up in the morning feeling fabulous.

I share these experiences plus more on Living Light. I share practical and spiritual ways you can heal, awaken, grow, evolve and ascend into your light body.

This is not a miracle, this is simply evolving in your consciousness to understanding who you really are. That is all of our journeys.  This is why we are here in the Age of Light – the Age of Awakening, the Ascension has already begun beloveds.

Living Light will be public on the 22nd. I will send another email with the link to check it out.

Blessings of the most high!

A hui a hou. Until our hearts meet again.

Love, Soulfire

It must be working because this morning when I woke up I felt something stirring inside of me that actually felt light and free. I decided to roll with the mantra, “Something good is going to happen today.”

I sat down to do my morning meditation and within two minutes I heard my inner voice tell me to ride my bike to the pier and go for a swim. The last couple of weeks I have not been getting out as much as I’m used to because Karma, my four legged best friend, has not been feeling well.

I listened to my inner voice though, put on my bikini, kissed Karma good-bye and off I went on my bike. When I arrived at the pier, a local homeless man came up to me and told me there were dolphins close. I was so excited. I told him I had a feeling that something good was going to happen. We walked to the end of the pier together and I saw them. There was another man  looking earnestly at the dolphins, I asked him if he was going in. He replied, “I would but how do you get out?” I didn’t care about getting out, the only thing I cared about was getting in!  So I jumped. Usually I go into the ocean by the beach and swim out, but today I wanted to be with the dolphins so bad that I just  jumped off the end of the pier and went after them.

They were many of them swimming around and about a dozen people. No one seemed as excited as me however, which I thought was uncanny. I was laughing out loud for joy every time one of them jumped out and spun around. It was like they were putting on a show for us.

After about twenty minutes they disappeared and everyone left, except me. I floated on my back for a couple of minutes then went under water and said, “Come back, come back, I love you.”  Within minutes they were back- an entire pod swam right toward me. As much as I love dolphins and the ocean, there’s a vulnerability about being alone floating in the middle of the ocean with an entire pack of mammals beelining it toward you. It can be a little unnerving at first.

I assured myself I was safe and went under water. It was surreal watching them just floating through the water effortlessly in a pack with the babies too. They swam under me and around me a few times then came up. The playful one of the bunch did his jumping for joy show for me. i laughed out loud like a little kid. It was magical.

When they swam under me I floated on my stomach and just watched them, then without warning I started sobbing. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that. It wasn’t a sad sob, more of a deep appreciation for everything- for the dolphins, for Gaia, God, the universe, the ocean, my life, everything. Words don’t do it justice. There was such a connection I felt oneness with everything in that moment.

This was one of the many dolphin stories I have experienced since I moved to Hawaii. I actually have dolphin stories from Long Island too when I came home over the summer last year that blew my mind.

What I’ve observed, is that they show up for me out of the blue when I’m in my highest joy and vibration, which makes sense. We attract what we put out. Dolphin message is all about fun, play and community. You rarely see a dolphin traveling alone.

I wanted to share this with you because all that is happening in the world can be scary and confusing. These are uncertain times for all of us. The dolphins message for me was don’t forget to jump for joy. it is still posable to have joy and feel joy even with what’s happening around us. It’s the only thing that matters, otherwise what’s the point of life?

I hope you can feel the dolphin playful energy through my communication. Be happy, find your bliss, go for your joy and when you falter, remember the spinning jumping joyful dolphins.

With love, Soulfire

I awoke yesterday morning gently and slowly, savoring the time I had to be lazy in bed and the beautiful orange sky peeking through my window. “Happy Good Friday Jesus,” I said as I continued to lounge in bed, soaking up the good feeling and setting my intention for a beautiful miraculous healing day with everyone I encountered. 

I got up to do my morning bathroom routine and from the toilet throne I looked out the window and thought I saw part of a rainbow. I quickly got up, ran outside in my pajamas and stood in my driveway in awe as the rain gently drizzled down on my face. Behold! A full blown rainbow arching above the trees framing my yard. Rainbows are significant for me which I will share in my second book. 

I smiled ear to ear. “Thank you God,” I whispered as the colors started getting more vibrant. Wait, a second rainbow above it. “Wow!” I exclaimed. I just stared and stared taking in the magnificent energy of this magical vision. After 5 minutes it started to fade, then completely disappeared back into the sky. 

A thought popped into my head… “That was for you.” I felt so blessed as I walked back into the house, knowing it was.

One of the most memorable rainbow creations happened ten years ago. I was going through a dark and very rough time in my life, during the phase when my husband walked out on me. I was completely heartbroken and suffered from depression for almost two years. In the beginning of this time when I thought there might still be a chance of reconciliation, I asked him to do a photo shoot of me at the beach doing yoga. He was actually the one who encouraged me to start this.

So that day I had to be happy and light and smile even though inside my heart was breaking. It was challenging to say the least, but I mustered it up by thinking of other things…anything positive that made me feel grateful inside…like the beauty of the beach, how much I loved yoga, how my angels are with me…etc. 

At one point feeling sad and trying to pull it together, I silently prayed to Jesus and my angels. I said, “If you are here with me please show me a rainbow. I need to see a real demonstration now. I need help.” As I was in trikonasa, triangle pose, I looked up and in the sky appeared a freaking rainbow right over my head!!! I couldn’t believe it.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” I exclaimed coming out of the pose to jump up and down. “What?” my ex husband replied. “A rainbow!!!” I exclaimed pointing up in the sky. Not understanding the significance of it, I told him I had just prayed for it and waallla- it showed up.

There are more stories- so many more that I am saving for my next book, but on this special day I wanted to share this with you. I know many people are struggling and suffering now. I know because my business is booming. I have been doing a lot of spiritual counseling lately and helping many people through their dark times. There is only one of me however, so that is why I write these blogs and my books, in hope that it will help people feel better, awaken to who they truly are, feel inspired and even take the next step in seeking healing. I have been guided to start an online book discussion as well. It’s going to start in April. For those of you who read my book- it will be question and answer session, basically counseling, about how to take next steps in implementing whatever you received from my book that inspired you. Details coming in next email.

No matter what you are going through, there is always a way out- there is a way back to feeling good again. If I can do it, you can too. My connection to Gaia, to spirit, to God, to my angels, is not because I am special. You, we all have that ability. You have the support and love from above just as I do.  There is an army angels and non physical forces- beings of the Light- that are always with you- showing you, if you are open to receive it that love is everywhere, that you are love, and you are loved. Today is about the resurrection of Jesus but most importantly the resurrection of you. There is no better time to be alive, to be reborn, to recreate yourself anew. 

You don’t have to be religious to celebrate the resurrection. You just have to believe. Happy Easter. Namaste.

I’m not sure if I like this medium state though. I think it’s kind of blah. What begins to worry me is that I might slip back into the numbness I lived in my whole life, and to me there’s nothing worse than to not feel.

So I set my intention for the day and off I went into busy mode, getting ready for my mini getaway that I planned after teaching my yoga class. As I was busy getting things together I was noticing that I was starting to get stressed over not having enough time to get everything done. This was not bringing me closer to being in a “happy state” and that annoyed me more. It’s my birthday I’m thinking, I’m suppose to be happy, not aggravated.

By the time I rushed around and got in the car, already late leaving, I was definitely not feeling happy. I turned on the radio to a soft song, nothing that really moved me, but I took a deep breath and as I was exhaling I felt my heart chakra open and warm tingly energy start to build then radiate out from my heart. I allowed the feeling to take over my body and sighed in relief as I thanked God for this gift. I can feel again! I’m alive! I was overcome in emotion and gratitude as I bathed in the sensation of love and light within me and all around me.

It was a total feeling of bliss, feeling the connectedness to All That Is in the moment. I’m not a numb robot anymore!

It lasted only a couple of minutes, but it was enough for me. I walked into the yoga studio beaming and shared my experience with my class. The feedback I received was how it was hard to attain that state of bliss. Yes I agreed with them. Not only is it challenging to attain, but it’s even more challenging to maintain. But it’s possible.

First you must have the desire. Desire is the fuel that starts to draw it closer. Then you must set the intention and ask for it. Thirdly, be open to receiving without blocking it with doubt and negative mind chatter that self sabotages you and lastly, continue to plant the seeds and water your spiritual garden with your yoga practice, meditation, contemplation, journaling, singing, dancing, whatever brings your heart the most joy. Stay in the confident knowing that it is done.

What I learned is that happiness is a choice. We must practice being happy, it is a muscle that needs to be worked. I don’t think most people walk around happy all the time. That is unrealistic. But you can feel content and practice acceptance with whatever comes up for you. You don’t necessarily have to be ecstatic in joy, jumping around, just be at peace and content. Those are the seeds that bring the joy. In yoga philosophy we call this Santosha. Santosha or contentment starts with acceptance. Without acceptance there is resistance and resistance blocks the light.

The light is who you are. Everything else you’ve added on. Peel back the layers and feel the sunshine in your own heart. Reveal your beautiful light and feel into the love of your truest essence. It’s there. Right now rub your palms together and feel the energy in your hands, cross your hands over your heart center and take a deep breathe into your heart. Relax your mind and quiet your thoughts. Allow the love energy within you to come forth, Breath and know that you are beautiful, you are powerful, you are creator, and you are love. Namaste.

Remember each day we wake up we are different, constantly regenerating. There is nothing stagnant about what’s going on inside your body. Billions of cells die every day and billions more are created. All without your will. Amazing!

It’s important to keep in perspective that even though we have this amazing body, it’s not who we are at our core. It’s something we have, it’s not who we are and it does not define us. Being in a physical body is a gift. Our body is the vehicle or vessel through which our soul expresses our individual divine imprint on the earth. It’s the vehicle that allows your soul to shine.

When you are in tune with your body, your life is smooth and harmonious. Your body is a finely tuned instrument that can guide you to the choices for your highest good when you are in sync with it, from exercise to rest to nutrition and pretty much everything. It’s amazing if you think about it, we came from the union of an egg and a sperm. We are pretty miraculous. Let’s start treating ourselves like the miracle we are. Namaste!