This has been a monumental year for me- major growth, coming out of my comfort zone, revealing my deepest most vulnerable insides to the outside. It has been the scariest year, yet also the most gratifying. I have much to be grateful for, and I worked hard for it all.
Yet….it’s really so interesting how the mind can play tricks on you. I wasn’t planning on writing more blogs this year- my focus is completing my second book to be published late March-early April 2018 with a big trip to Nepal in February. I’m busy, to say the least. However, divine nudging doesn’t stop. So here we are. If I am going through this, I know others are as well.
Most nights these days I am working with private clients, so when I have a night off you can usually find me lounging on my couch, vegging out, watching a movie. It’s too cold and dark out- I can’t write, read or exercise at night, and this is my only down time. However, I find I don’t even have the attention span to watch a movie either-my mind wanders. And there is no one to talk to except Karma, my dog, and she is usually sleeping.
The other night on the couch I was watching some grade B eh movie and a thought popped into my mind. It was, “I’m sad.” Then immediately after that thought I felt sad. Then the next thought was going to be, “I’m depressed.” But I caught myself. I said to myself, “What?! You have nothing to be sad about.” I agreed with myself. I stopped those negative thought streams immediately and replaced them with the thought, “I’m happy,” and my energy shifted.
This was a powerful moment for me and being the intellectual I am, I have been contemplating it for the last two weeks trying to understand why that happened, especially since I’m in a good place in my life now. So here is my reasoning: at the time the sad thought popped into my head, the scene in the movie was showing a happy couple. It triggered the awareness that I am alone (rather not in a relationship), and then I felt alone and logically I should be sad, right? Wrong. It’s my choice not to be in a relationship now and I know it’s only temporary. I feel content inside. So why the thought? Programming. I have lived most of this life feeling and thinking I’m sad, so naturally when the mind is idle and an image goes across the screen of our mind that doesn’t match up to our life- the mind goes to the default program. That is why the saying, “an idle mind is a devil’s workshop,” is true.
Even if we have done the work and have transformed our life, it is easy to slip back into the negative programming. Why? Because the world we live in is a negative place and it’s what we’re used to. The majority of humanity thrive on drama and negativity. It’s so easy to have a negative conversation with anyone, even a stranger in the store- but try to have a positive uplifting conversation. Much harder.
That is why having a yoga and meditation practice is so powerful. We have to constantly watch our thoughts or they can sneak up out of the blue and invade our peaceful mind. Most of the time, our thoughts aren’t even our thoughts! How often are we making conscious meaningful positive thoughts???If we are not being vigilant and in the NOW moment, our mind goes on it’s own out of control journey.
This morning when I awoke a similar thing happened. I didn’t think, “I’m sad, but I thought something negative, and before coffee! I immediately caught and stopped myself and replaced my negative blah thought, with “I’m happy- actually I’m fucking happy!” And you know what? I started to feel light and happy on the inside right away. Proof this stuff really works.
Watch your thoughts. Know when you are really sad or depressed or when it’s just a programmed thought to fill the void. Remember thoughts come first, then the feelings. If you want to start feeling better, start thinking better thoughts.
Being happy is a choice. It’s an inner muscle we need to exercise or it atrophies. Take it to the next level and decide to be happy, no matter the circumstances. In other words, declare you are happy even if it’s cloudy and rainy and cold outside; declare you are happy even if you can’t stand your job; declare you are happy even if you are stuck in Long Island traffic; declare you are happy even if you are waiting on a long line; declare you are happy even if you are having relationship issue; declare you are happy, even if your bank account is low; declare you are happy even if you feel sick; declare you are happy even if everything on the outside would say otherwise.
Unconditional happiness is the highest form of spiritual practice. Inner consciousness of being is the key to change on all levels. If you can practice contentment even in difficult circumstances, you will become a master of your life.
This morning my mantra is, “I am fucking happy, I am fucking happy. I am fucking happy.” Try it and see how it shifts your energy. The word, fucking, is powerful. There is nothing negative about the word, it’s the intention behind it. You can say “I am fucking happy” and feel good, or you can use it in the negative to harm someone like screaming, “Fuck you.” Words are just symbols, they are meaningless. It is the intention behind the word that is everything. Declare your FUCKING HAPPINESS and BE HAPPY MY FRIENDS. BE HAPPY.
For those of you who read my book, you know this is a word I use often throughout. I also end with it. It took guts to put that in my first book. I was afraid of criticism and getting scolded by my yoga teacher, Mokshapriya. However, she gave me the thumbs up and high praise for my book this past Sunday after I heard nothing from her for months. Her approval meant more to me then I let on. I am relieved! To buy a copy of this inspirational healing memoir, click below. I have 31 reviews on Amazon now by the way! Thank you to everyone who wrote one. And please keep them coming.
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